call it sad, call it funny, but it's better than even money, that the guys only doing it for some doll!

the other night, we were at our favorite restaurant when i asked charlotte if she was tired after a long day. she was quiet and a bit unresponsive. she said, "maybe, but mostly i'd like to talk when we get home." Lord have mercy. there is nothing that inspires fear into my heart more than when my wife pops out with those words.

i am around (almost exclusively) women all day at work. although this has been the case for over 10 years, it has not changed my position from stereotypical male as far as this subject is concerned. i have no desire to sit and talk about our feelings or assess our relationship. if there is a problem, i'll let her know. if she has a problem with me, i'd like her to tell me what it is that i'm doing that she wants me to stop doing, and i'll stop doing it. that should be the end of the discussion. i would like to think that we could be done in ten minutes max. after an hour and ten minutes has past, i am ready to set my face on fire.

at some point, the discussion will appear to be over. unfortunately, i am not at liberty to get up until permission has been granted. so we sit. and sit. and i'm thinking of ways to causing myself pain in an attempt to supersede the mental anguish. sometimes, she is just thinking of new ways to rehash the same old subject matter, sometimes she is done talking. i wish i knew how to tell the difference. ultimately, she will just get up and go to the bedroom and the stalemate will be broken.

it is amazing to me that after so many years together, a man and a woman can still find themselves mired in a game of emotional mexican sweat. until the game is over; you don't know what i have, and i won't allow you to look at what you have.

lucky thing i love her. that, and my fear of her, are what keeps my attention while we "talk." i should say, "when she talks at me."