my lyin' eyes
i went to play golf yesterday. as is often the case, i went at the spur of the moment, and was on a very limited time schedule. so far this doesn't sound like much of a formula for success, but i went anyway. i ended up at hancock golf course. hancock was built in 1899, and is recognized as the oldest golf course in the state of texas. originally consisting of 18 holes, hancock is the site of the original austin country club. harvey penick learned to caddy, play, teach, and coach right here. the north half of the course was sold to developers when the second acc was built in 1949.
today the course is a short, nine-hole push-over frequented by college students, old-timers, and people with limited time. it is the place where i learned to play golf. for a couple of years -right after i started playing- i was at hancock 4 or 5 days a week. it's really not much, but it is familiar and fun.
while i was playing 3 and 4, i saw a high school age kid meandering along the treeline that divides the 2nd fairway from the creek. since it was 9:00 in the morning, i figured he was skipping school in pursuit of trouble, golf balls or chicks. it was odd that i think i heard him shriek. then again, maybe that was just my imagination. either way, i had my eye on him...not because i thought anything untoward was going to happen, he just had my attention.
as i approached the 5th tee, i got a look at what he was really waiting for. a young girl was walking across the street from the private school which was built on the former back nine. i thought, "typical kids" and stopped paying attention to them while i played my ball off the tee. as i looked up from retrieving my bag, i noticed that they were deep in the throes of embrace. they were over 70 yards away, so i didn't pay them much mind. i thought it really lame of them to be skipping school to hug in the middle of a golf course. i considered that the "i love you's " of the adolescent are so lame...simplistic, ignorant, and vapid. don't worry. i know that of which i speak. sadly, i seem to remember participating in some of this foolishness when i was a youth. looking back, it is shameful to say so much to someone you hardly even know. especially, in that, at this age, one can hardly know one's self. as i got closer i became aware that this young girl was weeping. bitterly. her male friend was holding her up as much as he was comforting her. just as i realized what was happening, he caught my eye; and, i looked away, ashamed of my intrusion. that is how quickly it changed. i went from disdain and derision to compassion and empathy in an instant.
who knows but that her problems are nowhere near worthy of her reaction? after all, she is a teenage girl, and these have been known to overreact on occasion. perhaps her sorrow is the natural consequence due to her own actions. perhaps she is dealing with problems and sorrows i can not fathom. who knows? nevertheless, i am so sensitive to the feelings of others that i was moved.
i also reflected on a few other things. how easily can we misunderstand and judge others with little to no information? too often, is my experience. how sad that this lesson is so difficult to grasp.
it reminded me of the time i was playing this same hole and a homeless man was walking towards me. i steeled myself for the inevitable monetary request until i realized that the "homeless" guy was my good friend ron who is quite wealthy. he just looks homeless out of personal choice. see. i told you i am a slow learner when it comes to judging a cover.
it also made me realize that in not too many years, jackson will be a teenage boy living a life i know nothing of. girls, friends, problems, college, skipping school. these are all things he may rather share in the middle of the golf course than with me or his mother. i know it, because this is how i was. it breaks my heart to think of him crying out of desperation or sadness, and deciding that some dumb kid can help him more that we. maybe he will be more mature than i, and will be able to discuss things with us. maybe we will give him the skills and direction necessary to avoid the more seemingly devastating things so many kids deal with.
here's hoping we will be up to the challenge of teaching him the things we know and giving him the opportunities needed to learn the rest. my awareness of parenthood's ubiquity is renewed and expanded...at least until the next time i realize that i am still behind the curve.
today the course is a short, nine-hole push-over frequented by college students, old-timers, and people with limited time. it is the place where i learned to play golf. for a couple of years -right after i started playing- i was at hancock 4 or 5 days a week. it's really not much, but it is familiar and fun.
while i was playing 3 and 4, i saw a high school age kid meandering along the treeline that divides the 2nd fairway from the creek. since it was 9:00 in the morning, i figured he was skipping school in pursuit of trouble, golf balls or chicks. it was odd that i think i heard him shriek. then again, maybe that was just my imagination. either way, i had my eye on him...not because i thought anything untoward was going to happen, he just had my attention.
as i approached the 5th tee, i got a look at what he was really waiting for. a young girl was walking across the street from the private school which was built on the former back nine. i thought, "typical kids" and stopped paying attention to them while i played my ball off the tee. as i looked up from retrieving my bag, i noticed that they were deep in the throes of embrace. they were over 70 yards away, so i didn't pay them much mind. i thought it really lame of them to be skipping school to hug in the middle of a golf course. i considered that the "i love you's " of the adolescent are so lame...simplistic, ignorant, and vapid. don't worry. i know that of which i speak. sadly, i seem to remember participating in some of this foolishness when i was a youth. looking back, it is shameful to say so much to someone you hardly even know. especially, in that, at this age, one can hardly know one's self. as i got closer i became aware that this young girl was weeping. bitterly. her male friend was holding her up as much as he was comforting her. just as i realized what was happening, he caught my eye; and, i looked away, ashamed of my intrusion. that is how quickly it changed. i went from disdain and derision to compassion and empathy in an instant.
who knows but that her problems are nowhere near worthy of her reaction? after all, she is a teenage girl, and these have been known to overreact on occasion. perhaps her sorrow is the natural consequence due to her own actions. perhaps she is dealing with problems and sorrows i can not fathom. who knows? nevertheless, i am so sensitive to the feelings of others that i was moved.
i also reflected on a few other things. how easily can we misunderstand and judge others with little to no information? too often, is my experience. how sad that this lesson is so difficult to grasp.
it reminded me of the time i was playing this same hole and a homeless man was walking towards me. i steeled myself for the inevitable monetary request until i realized that the "homeless" guy was my good friend ron who is quite wealthy. he just looks homeless out of personal choice. see. i told you i am a slow learner when it comes to judging a cover.
it also made me realize that in not too many years, jackson will be a teenage boy living a life i know nothing of. girls, friends, problems, college, skipping school. these are all things he may rather share in the middle of the golf course than with me or his mother. i know it, because this is how i was. it breaks my heart to think of him crying out of desperation or sadness, and deciding that some dumb kid can help him more that we. maybe he will be more mature than i, and will be able to discuss things with us. maybe we will give him the skills and direction necessary to avoid the more seemingly devastating things so many kids deal with.
here's hoping we will be up to the challenge of teaching him the things we know and giving him the opportunities needed to learn the rest. my awareness of parenthood's ubiquity is renewed and expanded...at least until the next time i realize that i am still behind the curve.
posted by cm at 4/11/2006
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