Tuesday, August 29, 2006

dear lloyd, see you around sometime...maybe.

my sister will be attending a 10-year high school reunion this weekend. charlotte would be attending a 20-year reunion this summer if she cared. likewise for me next summer. to answer your question: yes, i am that old. i have grey hair and a balding spot to prove it.

we have decided not to attend the coming festivities. we both went to the ten-year activities, and they were fun...not really great; but, more-or-less better than sitting at home...more "less" that "more."

my non-participation reasoning can be boiled down to two factors. they are the two topics discussed at reunions:

1. i don't want to talk about your kids, or meet your spouse. i don't care. i don't want to discuss my family with you, either; because i can only assume that you have no real interest in my life. otherwise, we would have communicated since the last reunion 10 years ago. i might laugh out loud if you suggest we exchange e-mail addresses, so please don't. if you genuinely are curious about my wife or kids, i'm going to become highly suspicious. i remember what you were like in high school, and i don't trust you.

2. "do you remember that one time." yes i do...vaguely. and to quote uncle hub mccann, "there's nothing sadder than two old has-beens talking about the good old days." you need to lock it up.

i don't want to dissuade you from going to your reunions, though. i bet you have a great time.

wimberley wildcats rule!

growing up in wimberley was a wonderful thing. some things that made it so, were: rope swings, low-water bridges, pioneer town, the lodge, the spa, and the pro shop pools, the square, even market days was cool...when i was a kid.

we always had a competitive relationship with the two other elementary schools (and towns) in our school district - kyle, and buda. it first became apparent during baseball season, as our little league was made up of teams from the three towns. i'm not sure how accurate my memory is ; but, i remember getting smoked alot. the only reason we didn't get 10-run-ruled a few times was because in those days no such rule existed.

each campus organized a team of 5th and 6th graders to compete against the other two schools throughout the school year. wimberley hosted a basketball tournament right after the christmas holiday ended. the tournament followed a round-robin-style regular season wherein each school played the other two teams twice. in the spring, kyle would host a track meet; and, just before school ended in june, buda would be host to a softball tournament. as i think about it, i think the softball tournament was co-ed and only 6th graders participated. conversely, the track teams consisted of students from younger grades. i know the 4th grade was included; but, i don't remember how young participation descended.

i don't remember the results of any of the competition other than the year i was in 6th grade:

we lost all four of our basketball games. i couldn't have been more disappointed; but, over the holiday break, mr. farris taught us how to play a zone defense and we went into the tournament with renewed confidence. i don't remember any of the scores; but, we won all 3 of our games and put the trophy in mr. shand's office. 6 years later, the buda kids still said we cheated.

the only two things i remember about the track meet were that the buda kids were awesome at pull-ups (they swung alot) and we won more points than either other school to take the track title.

the softball games were held in the baseball fields that used to be where the buda elementary school lower campus is now located. maybe the 5th grade did play, because i can remember being at the tournament when i was in 5th grade and meeting charles attal, michael grizzle, and karen cervenka for the first time. doesn't matter. we killed both of the other schools. i remember one at-bat where i crushed the ball. i think i was rounding third when the right fielder caught up to the ball. i had crossed the plate by the time he raised his hands to signal that the ball had come to rest in the creek. i thought it so unfair, that mr. shand had a difficult time getting me back on the field when the umpire rule "ground rule double."

it was during those tournaments that we got to know some of the kids who would be our friends and teammates in middle school and high school. we got to meet new girls to talk about and call. i became friends with tim host during these competitions and we stayed close all the way through college. it's too bad the area is so large now that it isn't possible to continue these old traditions. it was fun.

i wonder how many people in hays county remember the wimberley wildcats, buda bulldogs, and kyle panthers.

Friday, August 25, 2006

from now on, i'll just stay home.

in an effort to continue the common thread of misanthropic revelations, i thought i should include this little tid-bit:

we were out of pain reliever. typically, this is one of the things we always have stocked in abundance; but, charlotte needed a specific brand, so i was sent off to the store. it took me 15 minutes to get there -long way to town from the boonies- 4 minutes to acquire my booty -it took longer than necessary because i stopped to decide whether or not to grab "angel heart" for $5.99- and i was on my way to the checkout. obviously, i was in line for the self-check. this is where the problem revealed itself:

it came in the form of the couple in front of me who were unable to count to twenty. see, this is the stated maximum number of items in the self-check lines. o.k. i get the fact that you are a selfish, inconsiderate narcissist. i can deal with this because i'm used to it, as many people fit this mold. but is it necessary to discuss every single item with each other before struggling to find the bar code and not picking up on the ease of swiping it...even after the 25th item. good grief! i need to be at work in 12 hours, do you think you can get your butt in gear?!

if you are too unintelligent to figure out something this simple, how on earth did you decipher the maze of roadways required to get to the store in the first place? even frank on my ipod couldn't completely placate my rising anger.

oh yeah. jake (one of jackson's friends at school) let me read a note his teacher sent home with him today. she was thanking him for being a great student and leader and for making the first week of 3rd grade easy for her and the class. i can only assume that something vaguely similar was sent home with each student. this is wonderful and encouraging for a kid except for the facts that the word "too" was used improperly and two words were misspelled. what in the heck?! at this point, i can't even comment on this kind of crap or i may start bleeding from my ears.

can't wait 'til tomorrow.

this is chuck reminding bill to SHUT UP! to SHUT UP! SHUT UP!


i had a visit from a client who reminded me how much i love silence. she was in the salon today, and didn't stop talking for the entire 90 minutes she was in my company. i do not exaggerate. in the few minutes i excused myself to consider downing our supply of drano, she called someone on her cell phone. then she stuck her blue tooth in her ear. my head began to hurt.

for most of my life i have enjoyed the lack of speech. to be sure, there are times when communication is needed and appreciated; but, i don't understand the need for constant talking. what do you think you have to say that is so important? wrong! it's not important, at all.

and small talk? i really would rather draw a warm bath and open up my wrists than listen to someone i don't know blather on about things about which i don't care. i usually make up a story about digestive problems so i can slink off to the restroom and privately bang my head against the wall.

i hope this doesn't make things awkward the next time we meet.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

go easy bro

it is abundantly clear to me -this week- that life is inordinately difficult. yes, it is full of joy and moments of peace and excitement; but, we all endure agony and disappointment below the surface. i have found that if someone seems to have a perfect life, that is only because i do not know that person intimately enough to see the underbelly of his existence.

i have the fortune -or misfortune- to be in a position to know about people's skeletons far before they are wished to be seen. sure, my job as a hairdresser facilitates these gatherings of information, and being in a bishopric causes me to often hear things i wish i hadn't; but, in reality, it has always been this way. i know alot of people, and for some reason i am trusted with information from many sources...often even from the origin of the event. do not confuse this with thinking i am a gossip. nothing could be farther from the truth. to me gossip is one of the great evils of human existence. i do not participate.

often, the tragedies of life are merely the natural consequences of the decisions made by the individual. "as a man soeth, so shall he reap" and all that. but at times, misfortune seems to be distributed arbitrarily.

just in the last couple of months, friends of mine have experienced:

*the suicide of a brother,
*the death of a 24 week old child,
*divorce,
*loss of a best friend,
*struggle with faith,
*isolation because of "coming out",
*cancer and chemotherapy,
*loss of a job,
*putting a parent in a "home",
*preparing for a spouse to possibly enter a federal penitentiary.

my life seems charmed by comparison.

when i see people slogging through these events in life, i often wonder where one finds the strength to endure these dark days. perhaps this comes from the fact that the sun comes up tomorrow regardless of our desires; and, one way or the other, one must face each day and deal with the realities of life. what else can one do?

i/we have been through days that i wish i had never experienced, and i found myself ready to move forward because of my religious beliefs. al gore might call this a "faith tradition." i know that no matter what life sends my way, my family and my belief in God will see me through. this knowledge is one of my greatest assets.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

cornpone all around


"if he had had his way; nobody who did not know how to catch a fish, would be allowed to disgrace a fish by catching it." so goes one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite stories. it was brought to mind this weekend:

we went down to hempstead to visit charlotte's father. he is contending with hodgkin's disease and leukemia. the chemotherapy treatments he is currently enduring have made obvious changes to him. he's tired. he's bald. he sleeps alot more and has much less energy when he is awake. hopefully, following this last treatment, he will regain much of his former vitality.

one thing that hasn't diminished is his love for racing. he owns a super-stock race car which he designed and built. he maintains the engine and makes weekly adjustments to the car to find the proper combination needed to bring home the trophy. we went out to baytown to watch them race. for 8 bucks per person, one can sit on aluminum seating while destroying hearing capacity and being witness to all manner of redneck activity. we got into the act long enough to eat frito pie and funnel cakes. good enough.

since we didn't get to charles' house until after 1:00, we all slept until 8:30 or so. after a very late breakfast of sausage, eggs, and biscuits, we started to process of getting ready to go fishing. after getting all of the gear, filling a hills brothers can, and waiting until after the first few laps of the weekly nascar offering; we were finally ready to get in the truck. charles has a few stock tanks on his property, and the fish are always biting. in order to be clear, let me inform you that we NEVER fish unless we are at charles' house. i don't really know how, or care to spend my time this way.

regardless of my ignorance and apathy, i ended up catching the largest of the 2 dozen fish caught that day. i understand it was a 3 1/2 lb. bass. o.k., if you say so. we ended up moving almost all of them from this more established tank, to the newest tank that was built a couple of years ago. the two largest bass were relieved of their status as living creatures; and, ushered into the position of lunch item. it was really good. even jackson ate a few bites, and he doesn't like fish unless it is made of chicken.

all in all it was a great weekend.

Friday, August 04, 2006

so many...so little

i just remembered something funny to me.

there is not much on television tonight that interests me. usually, i find myself in this familiar position. this is one of the reasons i read so much; but, occasionally, i want to lay on the couch without thinking; and, t.v. is a great resource in these times. tonight, i ended up watching x games 12 for a while. it was insane. after, i turned on "pretty in pink." this is quintessential 80's celluloid refuse.

when i was a junior in high school, a new family moved in. there was a girl in the family who was my age. i wish i could remember her name. i know her last name was "allred," but that's where it ends. helen, or ellen, or elain, or ilene? who knows? regardless, i thought she was moderately cool because she was hip to falco when no one else was. i think i even made her a copy of my tape. we went out two or three times. the first time we went out, we went to see "pretty in pink." i thought it was acceptable, though ducky made me want to reach into the screen and kick him in the butt. i might have even gone to her homecoming with her.? i have a vague recollection of going out with her when she was wearing a pink taffeta dress appropriate for a 80's era semi-formal. how sad. on our last date, we went to see "back to the future." she hated it. i didn't. at that point i realized that any girl who loved ducky but not marty, was not a girl i wanted to spend my money on.

i wish i could remember her name? i really kind of liked her for a couple of weeks.